I have often wished that I had a spiel or speech memorized to spew at people about my daily life with Lyme and all that it entails. A quick summary I could give them that could hopefully get them not only to understand, but also serve as a subtle way of warning them that friendships and relationships with people with Lyme can be trying and difficult on both ends.
For us, all we want is empathy and compassion. We want to be cut some slack in advance for the inevitable ways in which we’ll unwittingly let you down. We want you to understand that not calling or emailing back wasn’t a dig, it was because we couldn’t get out from underneath the covers. We want you to understand that ‘looking good’ is in no way equivalent to feeling good, nor is forgetfulness equivalent to not caring. I could elaborate, as could all Lyme Chicks (and we did) but the one side I admittedly never gave much thought to was how hard it could be on the friend, or boyfriend, or girlfriend, or parent of someone with Lyme…
That was the thought that sparked this video.
This is dedicated to the friends and family of all us Lyme Chicks, the people that have so graciously taken on the confusing and mystifying universe of Lyme disease with us. The ones who stood by us and attempted to understand what we couldn’t even begin to explain. This is for everyone who’s been left confused and hurt or completely baffled as to how to be a friend to someone with Lyme. This is for everyone who’s put in the effort. Thank you.
Thoughts from other Lyme Chicks
“Expect a strong willed person who through the tears and suffering always pulls through. Expect to want to do everything for her, but also rest easy in the fact that she would rather do things herself. Expect someone you would be very proud of.” – Strep Thrd Degree
“Expect a friend who may still seem normal at times but may seem totally strange at other times; a friend who is hurting, more than words can describe; a friend who wants to still be there for you and do regular things but who may be limited in doing so at times; a friend who is having to work really hard just to do the simple things like get up out of bed in the morning; Sometimes people are afraid to talk about Lyme and sometimes people don’t know how to talk about anyone else. Expect that your friend is going to have ups and downs, good times and bad times, that one doesn’t just ‘get over the Lyme’ – it’s a whole long awful process. Expect that it may be tough to be her friend at times but that she needs you very much.” – Melinda McNamara Kassing