Where I’ve Been…

Hi lovely friends and fighters, I wanted to do an update on some of the reasons I’ve been absent. Before I do that though, I want to thank you all, truly, for your understanding.

I know if anyone could understand the stress involved in maintaining any website or community it would be you all. Because for us, taking a legitimate shower, the kind where you clean your body and wash your hair, well, that’s an olympic feat. I knew this going into Lyme Chick’s creation. I knew that this would have to be a side project of sorts, meaning my first duty was to get healthy. That any energy or emotional strength I had left would go to Lyme Chick because it was and still is my absolute passion. To possibly take the fear and endless mystery out of one procedure for one person. To have someone not feel brutally alone and at their lowest low then I have succeeded.

That is why I committed the extra energy I had to this. I am here for you. I want to be here for you. But, as many have pointed out in rude and less rude versions, I have not been there for everyone. I couldn’t and that is for a multitude of reasons. It is remarkably easy to think that if I am sick I have absolutely no excuse not to respond to 17,000+ people. Your opinion of me, Maisie or Lyme Chick is yours that you’re one hundred percent entitled to. It is absolutely none of my business. All I can do is explain what IS my business, and that is this site. You see, when I went into the world of blogging and making YouTube videos I didn’t know what it entailed, truly. I didn’t know that the thoughts I would have swirling around my brain for months, and sometimes years, surrounding my efforts and Lyme Chick, would be that of extreme guilt and heart-palpitation-worthy anxiety. I didn’t know those feelings would overpower any feelings of pride. It wasn’t a job I was up to most days. That is, maintaining something as personal and raw as what is essentially a diary of my trials and tribulations of being a chronically ill “serial patient.”

My last post, promoting Light Found You, the song I wrote and recorded for Lyme awareness was in May. That is not what you would call a consistent blogger, I am aware. And I am not someone with consistent health, as you surely are aware. I don’t say this for any other reason than to help this community understand why I unwittingly took a step back from it.

When you put yourself in any version of the public eye, hate is expected. There is not a single user of the internet that doesn’t know that. But this was only a small part of the equation of why I stepped away.

I was fighting for something I still haven’t found. Health. As someone in this position, as a patient with a keenness for writing, and not a licensed health practitioner or doctor or expert of anything (except possibly how to make felines your friend…) I was in no position to answer your medical questions. As a girl with a knack for overanalyzing, being sensitive and having anxiety attacks at the drop of a hat, I could not give that much of myself away. I could not take on your burdens because I was struggling under the weight of my own. It is not because I didn’t care. It is not because I was too lazy. It is not because I was ungrateful for your support. It is because I did not have any spark left in my spirit that I wasn’t already showing here.

Thank you for understanding. I see your struggle and I applaud your efforts to heal. Taking a step back was one of mine.

Love and healing,
Maisie aka Lyme Chick

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About Lyme Chick

Lyme Disease advocate/warrior still learning about Lyme treatments/recovery and wishing to inform, support, and commiserate with others along the way.
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11 Responses to Where I’ve Been…

  1. linda says:

    Be well Lyme Chick and take all the time you need. You just have to.

  2. Linda says:

    I must admit I have missed you. But I do understand completely.
    I have taken a few steps back myself.
    I found working full time was all I could handle. My weekends were left to doing chores at home.
    But due to many changes in my life I will unfortunately have more time on my hands.
    So I hope to hear and see more of you. Because now I have the time to look for you.

  3. lilygoat@aol.com says:

    Really well worded post Mai. Your brain rallied today even tho you felt lousy. luffoo

  4. Happy Fowler says:

    Good for you for taking care of yourself by putting this out there! That’s more important than anything. I know ur mom told u I had to quit using perfume. Best thing I could have done at the time! No more problems on that front. I hope u are feeling better. I missed seeing u that day after you went to the hospital! Much love to you, Maise, Happy

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  5. jen Miklavcic says:

    Thank you for your kindness and support. I am so sorry you have ever been judged. I am grateful to your words and wisdom. I appreciate that you have taken time to heal or try to heal. All of us lymies need to support one another and know that healing is slow and painful. We never know when our world is going to turn upside down. All my best and peace in healing. Jen

  6. mjstevenson570516378 says:

    You sweet girl, I am so sorry that people have been rude to you or expected you to perform miracles for them when you are still so sick too. I am also an inconsistent blogger due to my own health issues and I know the way anxiety over not blogging can pile up & make going anywhere near your own blog feel very intimidating. I don’t have any magic words to make anything better, but I am glad to see you again & I wish you all the best. Do whatever it is you need to do to take care of yourself and know that the people who truly admire you will always be happy to see you again whether it’s been a day, a week, a month, a year, or more – you will not be forgotten. (((Hugs)))

    MareZilla.com http://marezilla.com

    >

    • Nicole says:

      I agree 😊
      Lyme Chick needs to focus on her health, just like we ALL do if we ever want to get better! By the way, I 💚 the song!
      Nicole

  7. Stephanie says:

    Hey. Hope you feel better soon. You are totally right, and sorry you’ve had to deal with meanness as an extra burden on top of everything. I missed you but I knew you were probably down with the illness, and that’s something we definitely all understand. When I notice one of my lymies goes missing from the Internet, I know it’s a signal to pray, because they’re probably not doing well. ❤

  8. Jennifer says:

    Such a lovely writer you are 🙂 Illness can take so much out of us I know! No one ever should judge anyone else’s struggle!

  9. Peg says:

    You are a very sweet woman. Having Lyme makes me very unreliable. That is not the person I was or ever want to be. Alas I have no choice. You are to be commended for even trying. How anyone could be mean or critical is beyond me. No one who doesn’t understand that is simply ignorant!!
    Do what you can, when you feel up to it. Don’t let “The Haters” get you down! Delete their comments as soon as you get them. I appreciate what you do for us. Having Lyme Disease is lonely enough, don’t want you to disappear!
    Hang in there I am rooting for you and I imagine so are many others!

  10. Kari says:

    Good for you sweetie. As a Lyme sufferer myself you have to have what I call “appropriate selfishness” Your first duty to the world is, duty to ones journey to wholeness, regardless of what others think. Others can glean from your experiences if they choose, but they must make the choice to take hold of their own health and start their own journey. With chronic illness we can only walk along side each other, and that for a season. Those that are healthy are those that are called to carry others when we can’t. Be well!

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